mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
