Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
