HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
