Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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