I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
