Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
