how can u be prego again
Nicole vs. Life
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
