Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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