I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
this will be a night to untag.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
