how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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