There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
