buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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