if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My bed smells like the plague
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
