Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
