I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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