Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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