when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Randomize
