He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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