I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
