The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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