You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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