Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
