he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
