they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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