She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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