Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
