she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
