I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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