Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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