There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
