EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
