the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize