And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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