i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
