I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
