he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
