I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
