Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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