remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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