Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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