Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
