The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
