They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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