she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
