Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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