so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
