i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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