It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
