Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I touched a dick in church today
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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