i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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